LIFE HEAD-ACHE

Not a migraine head-ache.
A life head-ache.

The numbing,deadening hum of Life sends ants crawling up my taut nerves..
How can something so alive and full of life like Life feel so dead and hollow...and barren like a dried-up river bed?

Before the zero-ness set in,Life seemed so full of life (on the surface).

But then I happened to look beneath the surface and found a gutter so black and slimy with slippery worms of myriad perversions that I didn't want to peep in any more than I had already had.
I closed the lid on the man-hole of life which i had so accidentally stumbled upon and foolishly opened....promising myself never to think again of the ugliness I had glimpsed..

But there is no cure once you have witnessed it...there is no healing...all you can do is assimilate the ugliness and push it away into some dark corner of the soul where it can (hopefully ) stay benign without casting a shadow on "Life After The Witnessing"!

But it has tainted my view of the world.
I now see the world in all its murky,filthy glory!

I see the facade I put on to be "this" or "that"..I feel nauseous of my "image-consciouness"!..I puke internally at the masks all of us wear..I do not see a single mask-less person leading a normal life!

The scorn behind the sweet smile,
The immorality behind the moral cloak,
The lack of culture behind the culture,
The crudeness behind the sophistication...

ITS ALL TOO CLEAR..(as clear as the simmerng desert under the blazing sun)...My clarity of vision when I peeped into the gutter has done me in...clarity of vision can be hideous..beware!

LAUGHTER!!!

The first positive crticism that i got for my blog was from a most positive and happy-go-lucky person...a person who laughs from the depths of his soul with glee and merriment in his eyes...

i go for yoga classes where we have a laughter session once a week for about five minutes...someone rightly said that the most difficult thing to do is to make people laugh...because we in our yoga class definitely struggle to laugh cotinuously for five minutes....

Its unbelievably difficult to break into unabandoned laughter just like that and sustain it for five whole minutes...five minutes seems dreadful and unbearably long then..

But this person,herefore mentioned,laughs spontaneuosly from some incredibly joyous corner of his heart and spreads the energy of it all around him...soon we are all engulfed in the energy emanating from him and breaking into cheerful laughter!...

when this person is not present in the class,its quite a different story...we cut a sorry picture...all of us are pathetic,struggling laughers who are on the verge of tears and desperation trying to laugh...our artificial laughter grates on our nerves!....and so naturally instead of feeling relaxed and happy at the end of such a session,we are left with aching jaws and a heartfelt prayer of gratitude to the One Above that its over and done with!!!....

on the other hand, when the above mentioned person is present we ,almost always, have a great laughter-session,feeling serenely still afterwards ...and realise the truth of the statement that "Laughter is God's medicine.Everybody ought to bathe in it"... our taut nerves loosen and we feel one with the Universe in the short,minute long meditation after our session...

so thank-you sir for making us all laugh...thats quite an invaluable gift you possess!

P.S.,......(sir,your suggestion for improving my blog is well-taken..i shall stop writing critical,negtaive,rebellious articles for some time and write about myself for a change!)

FOR HIM....

For Him...whose mere contemplation is akin to having lived a thousand lifetimes in a few mortal moments..



Him,i imagined in my meditative trance.

His picture i saw clearly in my mind's eye.



I stood tranformed,transfixed and rooted to the spot as i saw Him stand in front of me in all His Glory...

i felt myself being cleansed of my wrong-doings(intentional and un-intentional)by the holy river Ganga rushing forth in a torrent from His head.

feeling as light as a feather flying in the wind,aimlessly and directionless,i took refuge in His matted,dense locks of hair..it was dark in there..a soothing darkness which felt protective..as protective as a mother's lap..

i came out and danced in the soothing moon-light emanating from His head...

i stared at His fore-head and felt fear rise in me...i knew i would float in the fire of His wrath,the wrath of His Third Eye,if i displeased Him...i felt chilled with fright and shivered..

He sensed it and opened His eyes...
i saw Him look at me as innocently as a newborn child looks at his new mother...my fears vanished and my eyes welled up with tears which poured down my cheeks in a flood...

i felt blessed.

i looked at His throat with the serpent coiled around it..i touched the throat where the poison He drank to save the world still bubbled..i marvelled at His selflessness.

i looked at His strong arms holding the trident and drum..i swayed to the music of his drum,like an alcoholic sways after he has lost contol of his senses.

i watched His masculine torso,woman to man...i felt an unbearable passion rising within me..i poured the water of my passionate devotion on His Linga and fell at His feet in tears...i entwined my arms around his ankles and sobbed like a child.

For an insane moment i was overcome by a jealous,possessive wave..

i wanted Him to be mine alone.
i wanted to be His alone.

sensing my thoughts He laughed..a clear laughter.... and looked at me like a father does seeing his beloved child's antics... and walked into the mist filled surrounding...He left..He vanished.

FOR HE BELONGS TO THE WORLD..HE IS EVERY MAN'S MAN..EVERY WOMAN'S MAN..EVERY CHILD'S BELOVED.

thats it..my meditative trance ended as abruptly as it had begun and i came back into the hustle and bustle of my city with the significant revelation that i was a part of Him...my eternal Soul was a part of Him...my Soul covered in dust and cobwebs should be made worthy of Him...I WILL TRY!