Do you know how it feels like to be betrayed by one's own inner spirit...
the very spirit which lends voice to the soul and to the self?
Do you know how that can feel?
That moment of betrayal refuses to let go of me...or is it that I refuse to let go of that moment?
Why am I so inextricably bound to that moment like a mother is bound to her only child?
Why can't I break free of the endless ropes that tie me that moment?
Why can't I free my soul!
This dark fog that has descended over my Being..why won't it lift up?
Why won't it clear up to let in the warmth of sunshine or the calmness of moonshine?
Why can't my spirit regain its chutzpah?
These questions echo endlessly within me because
I am my own betrayer... I cannot point a blaming finger outwards..
The blaming finger points towards my own self...
"Time heals all wounds"..."Time and tide wait for none"..
All my hopes of breaking free rest on the ever dependable companion Time...
Time never betrayed any soul till date.
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4 comments:
I read this and I thought you had written it for me. I have betrayed myself and I don't know how to forgive or how to move forward after the fact. It is as if something inside has broken. My sister said to me that I have judged myself too harshly. She demanded a re-trial. Perhaps there is no justice in the kangaroo court that sentenced me. Perhaps it was revenge that left me smarting from the betrayal. I live waiting for the part of me that was destroyed to grow back.
I love this blog. Thank you for writing it.
Nissha,
Thank you for following my blog:
http://woodandpixels.blogspot.com
I love your work, especially Destination Unknown. I have been on that train. Keep up the questioning, it is good for one to do that.
Dan
Inkpot..Thank-you so much for your encouraging words..it means so much coming from an exquisite writer like yourself.
"A Betrayal"is such a personal piece of writing that I wondered if it would resonate with equal intensity for anyone else.i'm glad to know it did!
You wrote,"I live waiting for the part of me that was destroyed to grow back."...The human spirit has such stupendous powers of regeneration that I have no doubt in my mind regarding the "re-creation" of that lost part of yours...
Dan..Thank-you for appreciating my work...I'll keep up the questioning..I hope I find the answers as well..the meaningful ones atleast!
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